After a third-round 66, Rory McIlroy is on the cusp of his long-awaited fifth major title, and so tomorrow morning, I’ll be sitting in front of my TV (or phone during bathroom breaks) and rooting big-time hard for anyone but Rory.

Viktor Hovland? Yep.

Cameron Smith? Sure.

Cameron Young? Why not!

Scottie Scheffler? Absolutely.

Dustin Johnson? In a heartbeat.

Anyone but the wiki screen-grabbing narcissist.

Rory dunking one in the burn on No.1 leading to a double bogey. This is what I’m rooting for tomorrow morning!

NBC’s Paul Azinger coming up with some asinine excuse when Rory falls from first. This is what I’m rooting for on Sunday morning.

Rory sailing one into a deep bunker with one of those goofy names like Cheape’s or Cartgate. This is what I am rooting for on Sunday morning.

Rory unable to sink quite enough birdies on Sunday. This is what I’m rooting for tomorrow morning!

Rory three putting the final hole to lose out on a fifth major. This is what I’m rooting for tomorrow morning!

Rory ruining the pre-written stories of the smug golf media. This is what I’m most rooting for tomorrow morning!

Go! Anyone. But. Rory!

Update: What a wonderful day! Congrats to my man, Cam Smith. The salty tears on golf twitter are absolutely delicious.