CNN Anchors Push Tiger Woods Painkiller Conspiracy Theory

A composite screengrab of CNN's Brianna Keilar and Andy Scholes. (PGW)

As has been reported, Tiger Woods suffered serious injuries on Tuesday after being involved in a single-car roll-over accident near Los Angeles.

The news of the golf icon’s car accident led the news across all platforms, and seemed to shock everyone.

Well, almost everyone.

During CNN’s afternoon coverage of the accident, sports anchor Andy Scholes claimed he was “not surprised” because “painkillers have become a part of his life.”

“News” anchor Brianna Keilar, meanwhile, just sat there with her patented blank stare, nodding along like one of those soul-less “bubble headed, bleach blonde” news anchors that Don Henley mocked in his hit song Dirty Laundry.

(“We got the bubble headed bleach blonde, who comes on at five. She can tell you ’bout the plane crash with a gleam in her eye. It’s interesting when people die. Give us dirty laundry.”)

“Not entirely surprised by what we’re seeing here. Tiger, back in 2017, was found by police pulled over to the side of the road, asleep in his car,” Scholes bluntly stated.

“He had said he had taken a lot of painkillers at that time because we all know Tiger has undergone a lot of surgeries over the years and painkillers have become a part of his life.”

Woods’ problems with painkillers have been documented here and here, however, at the time Scholes made these comments, there was absolutely zero evidence that narcotics played a role in the accident.

And 24 hours later, there’s still no evidence. But keep bobbing along to fake news, Brianna!


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