You are Hideki Matsuyama and you become the first Japanese golfer to ever win a major championship, and the first Asian to win the Masters. So when you arrive home in Japan you are naturally greeted by adoring crowds, a ticker tape parade, and all kinds of media appearances.

Right?

Wrong.

During the lunacy that is COVID-19 (or more like COVID-1984), you are forced into isolation and unable to celebrate with your own wife and baby daughter, or even visit your family home.

Instead, upon arrival, you are essentially put under house arrest for 14 days.

In place of parties and photo ops, you are allowed Internet access so you can sit alone in your room scrolling through the web.

“I was able to go back to Japan. The first two weeks, though, I spent quarantined,” said Matsuyama, through an interpreter.

“But after that I was able to spend time with my wife and little girl, able to visit my family home and see my parents and family there. So it’s been good.”

He continued, “Probably the one thing that stands out is I got back to Japan and I was quarantined for two weeks and I was able to probably read every news article and newspaper and magazine and TV.”

Yeah. Sounds great!

Yet, the pro-lockdown media in this country didn’t even bat an eye to Matsuyama’s big reveal. Instead, they ran headlines that sounded satirical.

AP: Matsuyama says quarantine in Japan allowed Masters win to sink in.

I mean, that reads like something straight out of the Onion or Babylon Bee.